This is a post I never expected to write, mainly because I
am the type of person who keeps a lot of my problems in and just puts on a
brave face. But tonight you could say I have been inspired to just put it all
out there and finally open up a bit more.
I’ve never had what you would call a perfect life, I have had issues, I’ve never been popular, I’ve never been someone a guy would go out of their way to meet or ask out & if they did it would simply be a joke to use as fun later on. The older I have got the more I have closed myself off from people and I have simply just gone through the motions of life.
I have been bullied so badly over the years that there were times I just never wanted to leave my room and my nature to put others before myself got used so badly I was at one point doing other peoples homework or helping others just so I could be talked too. I’ll admit looking back at it now I was a silly naive girl but it was either this or nothing and I am not someone who deals well with having no-one.
A few people knew that 2008 was a year id rather forget but it was worse than that over the course of 12 months everything went wrong to the point where by the end where I tried to commit suicide. It was only an accident where Delta’s album fell on my head which stopped me, I spent most of the night listening to Mistaken Identify and I credit Delta as one of the people who saved my life. Delta slowly helped drag me out of the hell that 2008 had become and gave me a small ray of hope. Fast forward to the 16th June 2012 and here I sit on my bed on a cold and rainy evening typing this trying to stop myself stressing over my Tafe course. There are good days now and then there are bad days but I try my best not to let myself slip to where I have been. What I do to stop myself is use my music and in the last few months 3 new artists have been added to a small list which keeps me from making any mistakes. Danni Da Ros, Glenn Cunningham & Rachael Leahcar all from The Voice have voices that can evoke the soul & Rachael in particular has brought me to tears on more than one occasion. Less than a month ago my mind was swirling and I cracked, causing me to feel as bad as I did in 2008 but I used all 3 I mentioned earlier to give me a kind of inner peace & now I listen to them daily.
People may have their opinions when I read this saying I possibly need help, but I’ve already had plenty. Music is my drug now and that keeps me sane, it inspires me and Delta, Glenn, Danni & Rachael have been a big part of that & I can never thank them enough.
I’ve never had what you would call a perfect life, I have had issues, I’ve never been popular, I’ve never been someone a guy would go out of their way to meet or ask out & if they did it would simply be a joke to use as fun later on. The older I have got the more I have closed myself off from people and I have simply just gone through the motions of life.
I have been bullied so badly over the years that there were times I just never wanted to leave my room and my nature to put others before myself got used so badly I was at one point doing other peoples homework or helping others just so I could be talked too. I’ll admit looking back at it now I was a silly naive girl but it was either this or nothing and I am not someone who deals well with having no-one.
A few people knew that 2008 was a year id rather forget but it was worse than that over the course of 12 months everything went wrong to the point where by the end where I tried to commit suicide. It was only an accident where Delta’s album fell on my head which stopped me, I spent most of the night listening to Mistaken Identify and I credit Delta as one of the people who saved my life. Delta slowly helped drag me out of the hell that 2008 had become and gave me a small ray of hope. Fast forward to the 16th June 2012 and here I sit on my bed on a cold and rainy evening typing this trying to stop myself stressing over my Tafe course. There are good days now and then there are bad days but I try my best not to let myself slip to where I have been. What I do to stop myself is use my music and in the last few months 3 new artists have been added to a small list which keeps me from making any mistakes. Danni Da Ros, Glenn Cunningham & Rachael Leahcar all from The Voice have voices that can evoke the soul & Rachael in particular has brought me to tears on more than one occasion. Less than a month ago my mind was swirling and I cracked, causing me to feel as bad as I did in 2008 but I used all 3 I mentioned earlier to give me a kind of inner peace & now I listen to them daily.
People may have their opinions when I read this saying I possibly need help, but I’ve already had plenty. Music is my drug now and that keeps me sane, it inspires me and Delta, Glenn, Danni & Rachael have been a big part of that & I can never thank them enough.
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